i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We just shotgunned beers for America
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
