but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
