just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
