between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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