he shaved USA in his pubs
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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