I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
