there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
