hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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