Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
