I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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