rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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