Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
