I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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