Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
