remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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