I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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