Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
