were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
