also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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