I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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