Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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