is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
should my penis look like a turkey
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
