So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
