i don't like sucking hair
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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