yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
