Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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