You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
