i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish I only lived at night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize