Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
