we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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