She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Everclear isn't food dammit
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
