god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize