You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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