Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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