What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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