peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
