I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
