Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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