i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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