This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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