He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
