So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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