Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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