i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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