I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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