Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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