i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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