id be glad to
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
