so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
