That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
