dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
zippers are such a cool invention
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
