I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
