who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can't motorboat a personality
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
