My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
