butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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