Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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