we're blogging at a bar
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
