Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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