She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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