we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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