your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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