Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
