i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
