My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
