well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When are your genitals available?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
