My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
