If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
