Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
