I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
