Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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